Evening Sky

02 Jan

stars wait in line
to get bath in the city lights
Aurora is shy

In response to Carpe Diem’s Special #70, Alexey Andreyev’s “Evening sky”

evening sky —
over the city lights
stars hardly seen

(c) Alexey Andreyev



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21 responses to “Evening Sky

  1. unawarebutunderlined

    02/01/2014 at 11:03 pm

    Beautiful take on the prompt!


  2. magicalmysticalteacher

    02/01/2014 at 11:22 pm

    Stars and children aren’t quite the same, are they? (Ever see a kid clamor to take a bath?)

    Punishing the Night


    • Sky Vani

      02/01/2014 at 11:39 pm

      Did you want to say that I missed the prompt involving imagination over the limit? That’s just the way I saw the image. I am not an expert for haiku, so making mistakes doesn’t surprise me. Those who try, make mistakes. Thank you for reading. I appreciate your comment.


  3. Chèvrefeuille

    03/01/2014 at 12:15 am

    Excellent haiku Shy … maybe this haiku will become more wonderfull as you replace ‘to’ from the first line to the beginning of the 2nd line. Just an idea …


    • Chèvrefeuille

      03/01/2014 at 12:21 am

      Sorry Sky … I spelled your name wrong …:-)


      • Sky Vani

        03/01/2014 at 12:28 am

        Yes, you are right. It is much better, I will correct it. Thank you very much for your feedback, I must admit that I was nervous a little, thinking that it’s maybe too abstract for haiku. I haven’t even noticed “h” 🙂


      • Chèvrefeuille

        04/01/2014 at 10:43 pm

        It’s my task to give feedback and I hope that my feedback can help to let grow the joy of writing haiku.


  4. WabiSabi

    03/01/2014 at 1:05 am

    You are right…the only way to create poetry …. is to write poetry… lots of it! I loved the mystery in your poem!


    • Sky Vani

      03/01/2014 at 1:44 am

      Thank you Wabi Sabi for taking your time on reading it and encouraging me. It means a lot.


  5. Cindy Baker

    03/01/2014 at 1:15 am

    Very beautiful. Thank you for sharing Sky-


  6. Asni Amin

    03/01/2014 at 1:18 am

    You’re doing fine. There is no mistake. In poetry/haiku, there is no right or wrong. It’s our own personal interpretation. Just continue writing. We all get better with practice! 😉


    • Sky Vani

      03/01/2014 at 1:46 am

      You are right. Thank you for the support. 🙂


  7. Bryan Ens

    03/01/2014 at 2:36 pm

    never really thought of the stars wanting the city lights. Wonderful twist.


  8. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    03/01/2014 at 9:30 pm

    Oh how can the stars beenvious of the city lights?


    • Sky Vani

      03/01/2014 at 9:49 pm

      Yeah… Sounds silly, I know… But, grass looks greener on the other side… 🙂


      • Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

        03/01/2014 at 9:52 pm

        And there’s all that city action..

        dancing city lights
        mock the big dipper’s slowness
        – to the disco beats


      • Sky Vani

        03/01/2014 at 10:11 pm

        See?! This sounds great! Than, why is it so impossible that one little distance star wants to feel that? 🙂 I like your haiku.



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