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Two cities, two beds, four pillows

26 Jan

In response to Ligo Haibun Challenge – Quote Week

Men and women sleep on the same pillow, but they have different dreams. 
(Mongolian quote)

They are laying with their backs turned to each other.
He is avoiding every possible touch, even by their feet.
She has long been asleep, he still can’t.
Listening to her softly breathing, he is feeling guilty.
As if he lies next to a stranger; someone who he once upon a time used to love.

He is closing his eyes, thinking about Her – the lady of his dream.
He stays awake till the sunrise every single night because of Her.
And now, he is laying here, imagining Her laying next to a stranger and trying to fall asleep,
trying to find a place where he said he would wait for Her in their common dream.
He is imagining their first meeting, the first hug, their first kiss.

Suddenly, a hand is wrapped around his waist.
She is still asleep.
He is wanting to move a little but that would be too rough. Or not?
He is feeling guilty even more.

His imagination is going mad.
He is closing his eyes again, hurrying up to meet Her as he promised.
But!
All that he can see at the moment is a hand of a stranger, around Her body.
This imaginary love kills him.
He is disappearing…
Drop by drop.

if pillows could talk
and all our dreams could come true
would we still have dreams?

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16 responses to “Two cities, two beds, four pillows

  1. Hamish 'Managua' Gunn

    27/01/2014 at 12:45 am

    You narrated this from two different people – very difficult but very interesting to read. We know how she feels too, and then the piece develops further, and further, with the reader realising what you were saying, that you started to say with that cold first line. I already thought this was a powerful piece of writing, but then came those killer last few lines, that hit every reader. So strongly, and it is remarkable that you chose them in the male voice, and they ‘ring’ (echo) true. But they are very sad lines, specifically those last ones. And then we get your haiku. I see two kinds of haiku on this page, the detailed imagery, for example the swing, or the deeper general philosophy – but real philosophy. Usually I like the detailed, careful imagery, but the thought here was so clever. It reminded me of that very clever film, Before The Rain, the thought pattern in your haiku. Thank you, Sky V.

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    • Sky Vani

      27/01/2014 at 1:08 am

      how silly is this – i imagined two lovers who were so unlucky to meet each other in a wrong time and to fall in love. this is very possible nowadays thanks to internet, and i think it is not so rare. they may be two lost souls like in aleph, who knows… 🙂 but, that love is impossible at that moment, or maybe it is just the beginning, i don’t know (they haven’t told me 🙂 ). so, the first part is in his bed, with his wife, dreaming – middle part is meeting with reality – the last part is jealousy which is usually follower of long distance relations and his despair. huh… i hope this has sense.
      thank you for reading and your fast and helpful feedback.

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      • Sky Vani

        27/01/2014 at 1:16 am

        and i have no clue why i chose “his” voice. i usually do that – even in my high school i was writing with a male voice in my head. see, i have never thought about that, i guess that maybe it sounds better in my head.

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  2. julespaige

    27/01/2014 at 1:48 am

    I think you haiku is a wonderful summation. Reminds me too of the program “If walls could talk”, about old houses.

    You’ve given me an idea for a flash fiction story. I’ve got to work on it though before presentation 😉
    Thanks.

    I often get ideas for writing from my dreams. Odd in dreams how we, at least I ‘change’ perspective – male vs female. I think scientifically we all start the same and then evolve. So it may not be so strange for the opposite of sexes to think a bit like the other.

    I’ve added you to my Ligo haibun book mark list. 🙂 ~Jules

    Like

     
    • Sky Vani

      27/01/2014 at 8:12 am

      Thank you, Jules. I would like to see the story when you finish it. Don’t forget! 🙂

      Like

       
      • julespaige

        27/01/2014 at 2:36 pm

        Because I used another prompt – it took a slightly different direction, but the main idea I had remained. Thank you.
        http://julesinflashyfiction.wordpress.com/2014/01/27/a-haibun-bearing/
        (Different blog, same person – me, Jules – enjoy.)

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      • Sky Vani

        27/01/2014 at 2:41 pm

        thank you so much, there is little crowd around me. i will read it during the day, as soon as I catch a little peace

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      • julespaige

        27/01/2014 at 2:45 pm

        I have a little crowd too…my two grandchildren. 🙂
        Cheers.

        Like

         
  3. Brenda

    27/01/2014 at 3:04 am

    Great haibun, wonderful, challenging and thought-provoking. I think anyone who shares their life with another person has moments of alienation like in the song: “This is not my beautiful wife.” Your words resonate with a truth for me past where your meaning was intended. Very beautiful.

    Like

     
    • Sky Vani

      27/01/2014 at 8:16 am

      “Once in a life time” … I agree. Thank you very much, Brenda.

      Like

       
      • Brenda

        27/01/2014 at 12:22 pm

        My pleasure.

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  4. namelessneed

    27/01/2014 at 11:00 am

    a very good read this early morning/ thanx so

    Like

     
  5. paulscribbles

    29/01/2014 at 3:14 pm

    Very real and emotive piece of writing. Thanks for sharing.

    Like

     

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