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Sea Theme, Souvenirs

30 Jun
Basho Revisited, departing autumn

“In this first episode of our new CDHK month I will look at a haiku from Basho’s haibun ‘The Narrow Road to the Far North’. This verse was the last haiku in his haibun.” (Chèvrefeuille)

hamaguri no futami ni wakare yuku aki zo

a clam
torn from its shell
departing autumn

© Matsuo Basho (1644-1694)

Here are my attempts:

New haiku, made of  the same words with different meanings:

in the local shop
girls buy necklaces of clams
before departure

And different words in the same tone:

sitting all alone
an old man at the table
another winter

For Carpe Diem # 503, Basho (1) “departing autumn”

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7 responses to “Sea Theme, Souvenirs

  1. artmusedog

    30/06/2014 at 10:21 pm

    Both are lovely ~ 2nd one very powerful ~ thanks, ^_^

    artmusedog and carol (A Creative Harbor)

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    • Sky V

      01/07/2014 at 12:46 pm

      Thank you, artmusedog and carol 🙂

      Like

       
  2. Chèvrefeuille

    30/06/2014 at 11:40 pm

    Awesome response Sky … your first haiku is a gem … and your last haiku a beauty in the spirit of Basho’s …. thanks for sharing.

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  3. moondustwriter

    01/07/2014 at 2:55 pm

    Delightful Sky. Word photos taken from very different angles

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    • Sky V

      01/07/2014 at 4:58 pm

      Very encouraging words, thank you.

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  4. Mark M. Redfearn

    01/07/2014 at 5:21 pm

    I’ve seen old men sitting alone at tables in foreign cities. Your haiku captures what they must often be feeling.

    Departing Autumn

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Feel free to share your thoughts with me ;)

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