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22501

26 Jan

On a drab place along the road, a bus stopped to replace travelers. Preoccupied with my own thoughts, sometimes I don’t pay attention to the signs. Signs are important, especially on a road like this. Hoping that it isn’t yet too late, I lifted a bag from the floor and put it on the seat beside mine. Then I closed my eyes, pretending to sleep. Just in case that maybe some of the new passengers wants to sit next to me. Behind the closed eyelids, I can hear my thoughts louder. I realize that I don’t know anyone for real – those that are leaving, nor those who are entering.

before my eyes
tower of sand
melting with the sea

Linked to Carpe Diem #1135 that moment …

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14 responses to “22501

  1. janicead

    26/01/2017 at 2:31 am

    Perfect .

    Like

     
  2. Baigneur de Fôret

    26/01/2017 at 4:01 am

    A very good read. I really do like your haibun. Your opening sentence was truly wonderful. However, most of the prose is in the past and some in the present. That was a bit careless/sloppy so you should be spanked (haha!) I suggest choosing simple present as it gives the most immediacy.

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  3. Baigneur de Fôret

    26/01/2017 at 4:03 am

    Actually I changed my mind. Prose all in simple past better I think

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  4. Suzanne

    26/01/2017 at 6:45 am

    I really like this. I rather like the change of tense. It gives it a stream of consciousness feel.

    Like

     
    • Mish D Sleeper aka Sky

      26/01/2017 at 9:33 pm

      Thanks! I believe you’re right. English isn’t my native language so sometimes I mess up with tense 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

       
      • Suzanne

        26/01/2017 at 9:49 pm

        I liked that though. I always enjoy talking to people who have English as a second language because of the unusual way they put sentences together. It’s a hard language to master.

        Liked by 1 person

         
  5. Virginia Popescu

    26/01/2017 at 9:01 am

    Super haibun ! I really like this ” tower of sand
    melting with the sea”. A very strong image.

    Like

     
  6. TRANSLITERRA

    26/01/2017 at 9:43 am

    Beautiful work ! and so true…. 🙂

    Like

     
  7. *blogfia*

    27/01/2017 at 6:13 pm

    I like this a lot! A very poetic perspective 🙂

    Like

     

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